Grandma gets more action than you and I combined...WTF???

Greetings people of blogger world,
Today's topic Senior Citizens...that's right you know who they are the old people who drive with their blinkers on, cut you off, and bark at you for just living. They are the bitter old people you feel sorry for because you assume they have no one in their lives that loves them. They are the folks you put in retirement homes and visit them every now and then so you don't feel guilty.Yup they are the people of 55 and above.

Yet today we are going to chat about the folks who are still mobile and getting jiggy with it...It was brought to my attention that there was a survey done :

"A survey of more than 3,000 U.S. adults aged 57 to 85, including face-to-face interviews, finds: 1) Most people aged 64 to 75, and more than one-quarter of those aged 75 to 85, have had sex in the past year. 2) Among people aged 75 to 85 who have had sex in the past year, most do it at least twice a month, and 23 percent do it at least once a week. 3) Among those who have had sex in the past year, most people aged 57 to 75, and one-third of those aged 75 to 85, still give or get oral sex. 4) Women are getting less sex than men, but that's largely because their spouses and other men their age have died" - William Saletan www.slate.com....I know this isn't the proper citation...but I am not in school and I don't have to properly cite anything as long as I give credit to the person..I don't want to plagiarize anything.

So after my inital ewwwwwwww I realized Grandma and Grandpa are having more sex than I am...This is an utter low....So if you think they are bitter because they have no one in their life like family thats probably not true..they probably havent had any sex...that day...

Randomness is the best!

So today's blog really doesn't have a specific topic, and after no writing for a few days my writing creativity has slightly diminished.Fear not people of blogger worlds for this is only temporary. So in this random blog I will update you to my weekend....sit back and hold on kids here we go:

Friday Night
I decided to stay in and finish my last brokers class since I had procrastinated the whole year, I felt this was a good time to actually get down to business. So I diligently worked on the class and finished. I logged on to a dating site (yes i am on a dating site) and received an IM from a guy who was not only really cute but ohh so nice.. we chatted exchanged phone numbers and he called we had been talking for about 3 hours (yes I am surprised as well) before i noticed the dog (Jack ) came in rubbing his face on the couch and to my surprise brought in a stench with him. Once again this lovable puppy had been skunked. So not wanting to hang up the phone... I forced myself since Jack does come first. I quickly threw Jack in the bathtub and rinsed him off. Then I realized the whole house was permeated with skunk odor...in to which I too was struck by o le pepe lepue de toilet...Since it was now about 1am I ran over to CVS to pick up douche(little tip douche works well for skunk removal odor on dogs and people)...So i walked into CVS and picked up

1)4 boxes of douche
2)1 handle of vodka
3)razor refills
4)vinegar

The man at the checkout looked at my items and laughed and said "wow you are some wild girl" I could see why he thought that since I had so much douche but I did clarify the dog had been skunked and that I was not that promiscuous. So I came back douched the dog, and put vinegar out to absorb the smell. I called back boy and talked till 4 am...Woke up Saturday super tired.

Saturday

I must share with you that I did semi learn how to play blackjack...my boss,his wife, and best friends had a poker night. The buy in was 5 dollars playing 10 cent chips.. 1 fuzzy navel and 2 diet cokes later with 3 hours from start to finish i came out of the game with 31.80-5.00=+26.80.... I must admit that was quite a good night for me..Other than poker I did nothing it was great!

Sunday.

For me today although slow was a great day.. My friend Eddie from Riverside came over with his kids and we had a Pizzarty (pizza+party=pizzarty) Dustin came up with that word he was here too... We watched sponge bob ate pizza and then conversed. Eddie left Dustin and I took a nap and then we decided to walk to Golden Spoon and at the same time walk Jack. Its currently 12am and I am ready for bed.


The weekend update:
The weekend was alot calmer that most weekends and I am happy.


Word of the day:Pizzarty

Because I am motivated to share! and continue writting

soundtrack of my life (honestly, I never listen to music on shuffle so this will be interesting).

How to do it:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc).
2. Put it on Shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Be honest.

OPENING CREDITS
"Invinsible"-Ok GO

WAKING UP
"Dancing Queen"-Abba

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
"Badfish"-Sublime

FALLING IN LOVE
"Take A Chance on me"-Abba

FIGHT SONG
"Metamorphosis"-HIllary Duff

BREAKING UP
"Thanx Dub"-Sublime


PROM
"Girlfriend"-Avril Lavigne


LIFE IS GOOD
"To make her love me"-Rascal Flatts

MENTAL BREAKDOWN
"Wait a Minute"-PCD

DRIVING
"stripped"-Christina Aguilera

FLASHBACK
"Head Over Heels"-GoGos

GETTING BACK TOGETHER
"serious"-gwen Stefani

WEDDING
"Primer Amour"-Christina Aguilera

FINAL BATTLE
"Long way to Go"-Andre 300/Gwen Stefani

DEATH SCENE
"Right Now"-PCD

FUNERAL SONG
"Fly"-Hillary Duff

END CREDITS
"DOnt Cha"-PCD

Word Of the Day as requested by a comment:VELOCITATION

What's in a name?

Hello once again my blogger people,
Tis I YVETTE.... So recently I have been pondering whats in a name...
Name:Yvette
Origin:Teutonic
Meaning:yew, archer

So come on realistically am I living up to my name.. I am not a tree, nor do have I or will I able have arching skills. Yet for some reason, when people hear the name Yvette they automatically assume I am French (if they haven't seen me) and trust me kids I am far from French. I am all for unique name and expressions but sometimes those expressions affect a child.

I once had a teacher whose name was Noyb (pronouced Noebe)her parents though it was funny to call her None of Your Business.. yes thats right they were cruel. I only know this because I saw her license and her mom came to one of the classes and explained that they liked to say that to people when asked what the name of their child was. But come on how was she supposed to live up to that name. Thats like a skinny pale nerd having the name of Rex..

So what really is in a name? Today I contemplated changing my name but the paper work for it was too much and decided I was content with the name Yvette.

But if I did change my name here are somethings I came up with:
Anne-simple and sweet "aww look theres Anne"
Victoria-sounds powerful..."heres comes VICTORIA"
Maria-after my mother but ohh so common for a mexican female name
Zoey-but that kind of sounds like a character from fraggle rock and I could only imaging it coming out of my mother with her accent it would change to "soy" and now I am name after soy

Like I said i'll keep my name and if you have a problem with it...step off cause I dont like you anyway.

Word of the Day:Hetero lifemate

Hello Happy People of Blogger World

Hello Happy People,
Well this is my first "official" blog entry... I am quite excited to say.... well today as I was at work i realized my life sucks. I know I know..you are probably thinking what the hell is she talking about...my own life sucks and is probably worse.lol well maybe your not thinking that but I can assume what I want to assume. Anyway back to my problems...so I realized hmmm do I want to continue my job..

Job Desciption...
Assistant Property Manager/Accountant/Real Estate Agent/Office Bitch
I sit in an office thats as big as my restroom at home with three other people... I am slowly becoming claustrophobic. My chair is lower than the desk and there are boxes everywhere..and I mean everywhere... it looks like a hurricane hit the office and had no mercy. The people that work in the office(excluding the people that are in my direct office) have sticks up their asses...I kid you not they even walk funny from the pressure of the stick so far up their anuses that i believe its creating a rash. lol...

Really now..I never really pictured myself as someone who was someones office bitch... I think when I envisioned graduating college I envisioned having an office somewhere and having my own bitch..currently not the case. Maybe I should become a personal assistant and be paid to actually be someones bitch and it probably pays more...
I know this isnt making sense then again its my blog it doesn't need to....


So future job possibilities

Lion Trainer-Im sure I can train a lion before I am lunch
Golf Ball fetcher-i would probably get discounts
Porn Star-wait i am not that comfortable with myself
Pole Dancer-been there done that tips arent that great
Food Tester-i am fat...dont need more food
Anthropologist-umm i love my curling iron and hot showers
Youth Leader-Would you trust me with you kids?

Hmm well till I figure this out i'll stick with what I have..If you have any Suggestions Please post a comment

PS...
WORD of the DAY is.....Douche